With Great Power comes Great Responsibility

Ok, so Hepofaus and I are having a chat about the perils of vodka. When you have Grey Goose, as is our custom, in a martini, it seems that the first two are quite tasty. Mmmm, tastes like more!!! The third one you start to feel a little drunk but at this point you're invincible...good god...bring it on. The problem occurs however, on the fourth one, by this point the first two are starting to hit and then with the addition of the fourth its a slow motion train wreck that we've come to fear. My lord, standing erect is unbelievably difficult, with just 16 ounces of vodka. What I proposed however, because of intense scientific study, that you could have 3 five ounce vodka drinks, but with orange juice and Perrier (my favorite), essentially consuming the same amount of alcohol and not be shit faced. Hepofaus ridiculed me as he is wont to do from time to time..."oh, you've found the holy grail of drinking...." that bastard.
Anyways, now that I've learned the secret, you should buy stock in Grey Goose because their sales are about to increase.

Whoo hoo....hic!!!

Absolutely just had to get this off my mind!!!

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Rarotonga Jr.

Went to little Rarotonga's school today to talk to his Grade 1 class about what I do for a living. No, I didn't show up with a martini glass and a pen you fucking twisted freaks! Anyways, it was great, got a bunch of free shit from "that big giant building with all the stores in it" and showed my Mission Impossible video. Kids loved it...teachers...well, they kind of liked it too... I hope...

Is it me or is Ben Mulroney more annoying than his frigging father...f'ing e-Talk Daily.

New Addition to Rarotonga's Cave

Needed a recliner to watch the big TV. Went to the Brick clearance centre today picked up this sweet one for $200. Sssssweeet....

Swimming

Ok, going to take the kids swimming in 10 minutes. Now where did I put that speedo???

Forgive me Blogger for I have sinned...

Its been three days since my last post. I confess that during this time I've been unfaithful. I have visited another blog site and even created another account. Its not that I don't care about you anymore, its just that your format is just no longer meeting all my needs. You were my first and I will always be here for you. I hope we will be able to work through this difficult time in our blog life.

Sincerely,

If only I could sing and compose music

Then I could turn my rage into a catchy tune like Morrisey and The Smiths...for those of you approaching the big 40...remember this one???

Big Mouth Strikes Again...

Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking
When I said I’d like to smash every tooth In your head
Oh ... sweetness, sweetness, I was only joking
When I said by rights you should be
Bludgeoned in your bed

And now I know how joan of arc felt
Now I know how joan of arc felt, oh
As the flames rose to her roman nose
And her walkman started to melt
Oh ...
Bigmouth, la ... bigmouth, la ...
Bigmouth strikes again
I’ve got no right to take my placeIn the human race
Oh, bigmouth, ha ha ... bigmouth, la
Bigmouth strikes again
I’ve got no right to take my placeIn the human race

Aaahh...the good old days....

Pinocchio

Wow, new guidelines on getting deals approved just arrived via email. If you look really closely you can see the puppet strings.

Oh, I so want to become a "real" leasing person...

Redeem the time

As I left the house this morning, what an absolutely beautiful day outside. The sun was shining and the sky was so blue it made me feel that this day was full of endless possibilities. Funny thing though, in just over an hour, I'm sitting here at my desk and the clouds are starting to roll in and I see flurries. This still can be a great day but the mood has somehow changed.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that life is alot like this. Each day that passes is one day less we have to live. We never know when bad shit is going to happen so we should try to enjoy the time that we have. Living for the weekend means that we miss out on the 5 days that happen before.

I know sometimes its difficult for us to think this way because we are always waiting for tomorrow to start living. We seem to think that everything will be different tomorrow but it usually ends up being alot more of today.

So, don't wait...live now!

Word of the Day

"retarded"

As a Transitive Verb
To cause to move or proceed slowly; delay or impede.

Intransitive Verb
To be delayed.

Noun
1. A slowing down or hindering of progress; a delay.
2. Music. A slackening of tempo.

of course the real beauty of this word is when it is used as an....

Adjective
Affected with mental retardation.
Occurring or developing later than desired or expected; delayed
Slow or limited in intellectual or emotional development : characterized by mental retardation

This word has fallen out of favour lately with the frigging politically correct police. However when used correctly it can really make a statement and bring joy to those around the target of your disdain.

Again, timing and packaging is the most important. Use discriptive words.

"What are you, [pregnant pause] retarded?"
"Are you a fucking retard? [voice should go up slightly at the end of this accusation]
"He/she's just fucking retarded" [use dry sarcastic voice almost dismissive]

Have fun...

I'm only going to say this once!

So get it through that lump of oatmeal you call a brain...

Its "moot" point not "mute" point. I'm sick and tired of sitting in meetings and listening to people who I think are reasonably intelligent and then they spurt out... (deep voice)..."Well its a mute point anyway." Mute point??? The only thing deaf and dumb in this scenario is your mother because she didn't hear your father sneaking up behind her and couldn't tell him to fuck-off and voila...you!

For those of you who can read and actually give a shit here's the backup....

Moot point is one of those phrases that once had a firm and well-understood meaning, but no longer does. It was just as you say: a matter that was uncertain or undecided, so open to debate.
It comes from the same source as meet and originally had the same meaning. In England in medieval times it referred specifically to an assembly of people, in particular one that had some sort of judicial function, and was often spelled mot or mote. So you find references to the witenagemot (the assembly of the witan, the national council of Anglo-Saxon times), hundred-mote (where a hundred was an Anglo-Saxon administrative area, part of a county or shire), and many others. So something that was mooted was put up for discussion and decision at a meeting—by definition something not yet decided.
The confusion over the meaning of moot point is modern. It is a misunderstanding of another sense of moot for a discussion forum in which hypothetical cases are argued by law students for practice. Since there is no practical outcome of these sessions, and the cases are invented anyway, people seem to have assumed that a moot point means one of no importance. So we’ve seen a curious shift in which the sense of “open to debate” has become “not worth debating”.
The mute spelling is a development that has come about because moot is now a fossil word, usually encountered only in this phrase; there is an understandable tendency to convert the unknown into the known, and mute seems to fit the new meaning rather better. But it’s wrong.

Need Sleep...

Ok, is 12:18 am and my brother-in-law just left. We had a couple of bottles of wine. A very fine vintage of Two Oceans which one of my depraved friends hates and a bottle of Little Penguin Merlot...mmm good shit...fruty...

My alarm will go off at 5 am! I need to go to the gym tomorrow 'cause I have to do chest and triceps. I hate missing workouts!

I'm not going to go to the "ski day" tomorrow because "my kids are sick." Ok, off to bed. G'night all!

Its funny (not funny "haha" but funny "hmmm")

Sometimes you think you know someone but the circumstances of the relationship change and you get to know them in a different way. The problem is that now I sort of don't like that person anymore (no, i'm not talking about my wife!) and they're fucking annoying the hell out of me. Its not like me to keep this shit bottled up inside but I don't want to "rock the boat" so to speak because then I'll be the bad guy and I'll have to end up sucking up to this jerk for ever. That will suck more. I'm not much of a grin fuck kind of guy because I don't like to screw people over behind their back, it takes too much energy and I'm a fairly lazy person.

Delima...

The Great Randomness of the Universe (read previous post first)

You know, I am also thinking...none of us pick where we were born or where we grew up. What if you were born somewere else, you'd probably be someone else. What if Steven Tyler was born in the ghetto? His song might sound something like this...

There wuz uh tyme
When I wuz so broken hearted
Love wasn't much o' uh nigga o' mine
The tables gots turned, jaa
Cause me an' dem ways gots parted
That kind o' love wuz da killin' kind
Now listen
All I wants iz someone I can't resist
I know all I need ta know by da way dat I got kissed


I wuz cryin' when I met ya
Now I'm tryin' ta forget ya
Love iz sweet misery
I wuz cryin' just ta git ya
Now I'm dyin' 'cause I let ya
Do what ya do - down on me


Now dere'snot even breathin' room
Between pleasure an' pain
Yeah ya cry when We be makin' love
Must be one an' da same


It'sdown on me
Yeah I got ta tell ya one thin'
It'sbeen on muh ma fuckin mind
Girl I gotta say
We're partners in crime
You got dat certain somethin'
What ya give ta me
Takes muh ma fuckin breath away
Now da werd out on da street
Is da devil'sin yo' kiss
If our love goes up in flames
It'suh fire I can't resist

Well...you get the point...

Words of Comfort

I got to feeling a bit philosophical after that last post and I started thinking about the words of the prophet Steven Tyler...

There was a time
When I was so broken hearted
Love wasn't much of a friend of mine
The tables have turned, yeah
Cause me and them ways have parted
That kind of love was the killin' kind
Now listen
All I want is someone I can't resist
I know all I need to know by the way that I got kissed


I was cryin' when I met you
Now I'm tryin' to forget you
Your love is sweet misery
I was cryin' just to get you
Now I'm dyin' 'cause I let you
Do what you do - down on me


Now there's not even breathin' room
Between pleasure and pain
Yeah you cry when we're makin' love
Must be one and the same


It's down on me
Yeah I got to tell you one thing
It's been on my mind
Girl I gotta say
We're partners in crime
You got that certain something
What you give to me
Takes my breath away
Now the word out on the street
Is the devil's in your kiss
If our love goes up in flames
It's a fire I can't resist


I was cryin' when I met you
Now I'm tryin' to forget you
Your love is sweet misery
I was cryin' just to get you
Now I'm dyin' 'cause I let you
Do what you do down on me

you know the rest...Take that Biotch...

Anyone know where I can buy a cheap shiv?

I'm tired of being nice to people I don't like!!!
I guess I've lived my whole life so far worried about what other people would think of me so I tried my best to fit into every group I was hanging around with at the time. I know most people except for raving f'ing psychopaths, do this but I got to be quite good at it. I suppose it stems from lack of parental love when I was a child or some shit like that.
Lately though when I'm talking to certain people and smiling at their stupid comments and making them think I'm really interested in the emanations escaping that vortex of hell they call a mouth. Its like I'm looking down at my self from another place, thinking oh my lord, if this person doesn't stop talking I'm going to staple their frigging lips shut. You are taking up valuable minutes from what is otherwise known as my life and I'll never get it back. Go back to your little hovel and shove your finger up your ass because I don't give a shit what you did this past weekend and not really interested in telling you about mine.
Wow, I never intended this blog to be a rant but I guess I have alot to rant about. Its quite interesting this blog thing...I find myself writing things that I would never verbally tell someone...sober...
I guess ultimately we can't go around telling everyone what we think of them because in the absence of some modicum of decency, respect and social order our society would degrade into chaos and we'd become...well...like...Americans...

Workout

Did a spin class this morning. Many people may not understand this or think its gay but I get such a rush when I work out. Its so tough to get out of bed and drag my arse to the gym but once I get there and the endorphins start flowing I feel like there is nothing I can't do. It puts me in such a great mood. Now if I can only keep this mood going and not let my boss f*cking piss me off, then I'll have a good day.

Good thing I don't own any firearms...

Sat through a two and a half hour development meeting today that made me long for the time I got my bag shaved for my vasectomy...did a leg workout at lunch which was great. Nice scenery at lunch, much better than in the mornings. Now I'm trying to get my work done so I can meet Hepofaus for beerz.

I'm amazed at how self important some f'ing people think they are. Especially the ones with no authority or power. I'm aware that others must think that of me but f*ck them, what do they know. Ok...my ranting is over...rage subsiding.

On another note, this is the 3rd day I've not had a single drink. Wow...I should probably go home and make it 4 days but...mmmmm....beer....huh? what was that, I think I blacked out...anyways like I was saying a second ago, I'm meeting Hepofaus for beer later...

L8r...

Workout

Great workout this aft. Did shoulders, burnt them out and then a spin class. Feeling pretty awesome, but tired, now.

mmmm porn mmm...

I've been asked to post some porn on here...while this is not a family blog, I do not want to offend so I offer the following....

Mussels in Tomato Sauce

Ok, Hepofaus wanted my mussel recipe so here it is...
1. In a pot very lightly brown some garlic in olive oil. (At least 4 cloves crushed).
2. Add about 500 to 700 ml of diced tomatoes. Can works.
3. Add some chopped basil, parsley and about 2 tbl spoons of crushed chili peppers.
4. You can also add a little bit of white wine to the mixture if its handy and you haven't guzzled it all.
5. Add mussels cover and steam until they open.
6. Pour into serving container and enjoy. Have crusty bread handy.

The secret with mussels is as follows, if they are open before you cook them or closed after you cook them...don't eat them. Oh...make sure your mussels are cleaned properly, most grocery stores will do this for you. There is a little "beard" thing at the base (obvious imagery intended), just scrape it off with a sharp knife.

Enjoy...

Dim Sum

Ok went for dim sum (again!) and way overate. Thought of all this great stuff I wanted to blog but now that all the blood has rushed to my stomach I can't remember. On the way back from lunch, bought a Hollister shirt, another Lululemon workout shirt and a couple of things from H&M.

Should really get back to work but don't feel like it. At least the markets are up today...

Fog

is lifting. Guess I shouldn't have had that 8 oz glass of Grey Goose at 2 am :) This could be the reason for my haze this morning. I've added the link to the Tahera website...I hope I haven't rested too much of my hopes on this thing hitting the stratosphere...

oh...

my head!!!

Saturday night...

Its Saturday night, just finished dinner and putting the kids to bed. On my second bottle of Rosemount Chardonnay. Got the big screen on and listening to Jack FM, awesome tunes playing. Its amazing how music influences our lives. Music is such and integral part of my life. It helps me escape to a time when things were more simple. I suppose it helps me re-live my youth and feel young again. Its not a wonder that Jack FM is so popular these days, I'm sure many people feel this way. Wild Boys, Duran Duran has just started...80's rocks!

Rarotonga's Cave--Almost Complete...

Ok, the computer is now in the basement beside the big screen. Now I have to get this thing plugged into the projector....hmmm...think I need to get a new video card...

The "birth" of Rarotonga

After many upon many glasses of "The Goose," it turns out I have an African name...so it began...

The first

I am aware that this will become a body of evidence that will ultimately be used against me but perhaps its time to put some of my ideas down on paper...well...virtual paper anyway...