Camping Report

Weather didn't hold...fun was had by all.

Camping

Wow, haven't been camping in about 12 years but today we're off. Should be fun, lots of work but fun. Hope the weather holds.

Huh?

My boss has been riding my ass the last few days about getting together with her. This is nothing unusual except that today I finally got together with her and she gave me a salary increase. A nice one too! Our company salary increases are usually in March. In the six years I've been here I've not heard of anyone getting one in September. Strange...but nice.

Hope you all are having a good day.

Billboard on Broadway in New York...

Wow...so, your husband was screwing around on you? Shocker...

You really showed him, spending the money to advertise on a billboard from your "joint" account.

Rofl!!!

R.

Signs...of the end...

...of summer that is.

1. The Ex (aka. CNE, Exhibition) has started. Slack jawed no teeth trolls known as "carneys" make their annual salaries over these 14 days.

2. It was fucking dark this morning at 5:15 am when I dragged my arse out of bed to go to the gym.

3. Its getting cold at night now. Actually need a jacket.

4. I'm starting to lose stuff in the back yard because the grass is 'really' getting long.

5. Those stupid Staples back to school commercials.

6. Those even-more-stupid commercials for the new fall TV shows most of which won't be around to see the end of September.

7. NFL season has started. Yipee!

8. Actually getting tired of beer...well, sort of...

R.

Cat's Pee on a Gooseberry Bush

I've heard so much about this wine that I had to try it. Well, what can I say...

Obviously the cat has some kind of infection and I'm not sure what he was peeing on but that don't taste like no gooseberry bush...laf.

Seriously, this wine is pretty nice. Light, a little citrus, bit of a tart finish, quite good with my bbq'd chicken. If you're used to or don't like oakey Chardonnay's this is a nice change. The semillion and sauv. blanc make a nice combination. Definitely a nice summer wine with anything spicy. I'd like to try this with some of my firey curry. Yum.

I bought 2 bottles, which I'll probably end up finishing especially if O. comes over...which he probably will.

Give it a try, its about $14 a bottle. Not bad.


R.

Blogging in Bed

Well, its 3:30 am and I'm sitting in bed with my new computer when I should be sleeping. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

New Computer

Ok, don't know what possessed me but I've been thinking about getting a portable computer for some time now. Well, bought one this morning. Sweet.

Its got a 17 inch wide screen. The question is whether or not its worth paying the extra for the screen or use the money for a 15.4 inch screen with better ram and hard drive.

I have 15 days to decide whether or not I want to keep this or return it.

Sweet computer though.

R.

You've got to be kidding...

Ok, I'm sitting at my desk moving papers around trying to look busy as people walk by my office. I come upon today's paper and the headline is,
"UN Pleads for Troops."
Below this headline, in the most prominent location is a picture of a dolphin with the headline, "Dolphins, not so smart after all"

[deep breath] ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????

In the SAME paper we have people being killed indiscriminately by rockets, war raging all over the world, conference for AIDS just finished in Toronto reporting shocking death toll and devastation of the population, some freak arrested for raping and murdering that 6 year old girl from Colorado, airports on high security because of terrorist threats, poverty... and you're telling me the Dolphins are the stupid ones??????

I think its time we take a look in the mirror if we're looking for stupidity.

On the next page is a list of the top ten smart animals...

10. Parrots
9. Elephants
8. Cats
7. Dogs
6. Corvids (crows, ravens, jays and magpies) (I thought these were just regular birds)
5. Octopuses (seriously!) (I know what you're thinking, I checked the dictionary its either octopuses or octopi)
4. Pigs
3. Cetaceans (dolphins, whales)
2. New World monkeys
1. Great apes (humans, chimpanzees, gorillas, orangutans, bonobos)

Woo, that's right animal kingdom, take that, we rock!!!. We did a survey and found out that we're smarter than all of you so go lick your private parts and mate with your relatives.

We rule the fucking world and as supreme rulers we've decided to destroy the world and all life on it. Our decision is final.

R.

My horoscope...

Scorpio

You will have a hunch, today. Perhaps you should try a firmer mattress?

Opposites Attract

Can someone explain this to me please? Why do opposites attract? Is it because we secretly want to be the opposite of what we are? Because we're quiet we are attracted to someone who is outgoing because it somehow completes us?

Where do we draw the line? I like sushi but she doesn't that's really cute. I've posted previously in jest about the toothpaste and toilet paper things (read below). At which point, when all the opposite things stack together do you realize, WTF am I doing with this person? It is no longer cute but rather annoying.

I read somewhere once that "opposites attract divorce lawyers," cute but what its the truth. How are we to know what is a good opposite and a bad opposite?

What are we thinking?

You can always tell what a society is up to by takng a snapshot of current trends. Whether its fashion, music, literature or media such as television.

For years we were into cop shows like Hill Street Blues then we got into reality shows like Survivor and Big Brother, then crime drama like CSI...

I was listening to the radio and heard the following songs not in a row but over the course of a couple of days. I'm trying to figure out what we're up to.

Buck Cherry - Crazy Bitch

Hey! You're a crazy bitch But you fuck so good I'm on top of it When I dream I'm doing you all night Scratches all down my back to keep me right on ...

Danko Jones - First Date

Do you kiss on the first date?Heyyyyyyyyyy let's do it on the first date?Heyyyyyyyyyy what do you do on the first date?Heyyyyyyyyyy do you kiss on the first date?Cause I do, cause I do, cause I do,Cause I do, cause I do, cause I do, Wuh-hoo-hoo!

Mobile - Out of my Head

I must be out of my head It must be something I said So come on I'll waste my life You think I'm out of my head But I'm romantically dead So come on I'll waste my life on you

Raconteurs - Steady as She Goes

Find yourself a girl, and settle down Live a simple life in a quiet town Steady as she goes (steady as she goes) Steady as she goes (steady as she goes) So steady as she goes Your friends have shown a kink in the single life You've had too much to think, now you need a wife

Nelly Furtado (feat. Timbland) - Promiscuous Girl

Promiscuous girlWherever you areI’m all aloneAnd it's you that I wantN: Promiscuous boyYou already knowThat I’m all yoursWhat you waiting for?Promiscuous girlYou're teasing meYou know what I wantAnd I got what you need

Shakira - Hips Don't Lie

And I'm on tonight You know my hips don't lie And I'm starting to feel it's right All the attraction, the tension Don't you see baby, this is perfection Hey Girl, I can see your body moving And it's driving me crazy And I didn't have the slightest idea Until I saw you dancing

I think I've found the answer and funny enough it ths words of another song...

Gnarls Barkley - Crazy

But maybe I'm Crazy

Maybe you're Crazy

Maybe we're Crazy

Probably...

Development/Construction Meeting Day

I will not get stressed. I will not get stressed. I will not get stressed. I will not get stressed.I will not get stressed. I will not get stressed.I will not get stressed. I will not get stressed.I will not get stressed. I will not get stressed.I will not get stressed. I will not get stressed.I will not get stressed. I will not get stressed....

Damn it, I'm already stressed!

I so hope

to god that I'M the retarded one and the rest of the people I'm dealing with are like super intelligent. This would explain things much better and give me some comfort!!!!!!!!!

I wasn't kidding...

"Uh, yes Mr. Retailer the rent will be (number followed by lots of zero's)."

"Ha, ha, ha, ha...you're funny Mr. Leasing Guy but what will the rent really be?"

"I'm serous that's the rent."

"That's the rent?"

"That's the rent, best I can do. I don't like to over quote."

[silence]

[staring...blinking...staring] (Its important not to talk during this phase of the negotiation.)

When all is said and done, I'd rather be a pitcher than a catcher. lol....

Work

Sigh, back to work. Don't care yet, maybe later. Slept through my alarm so didn't make it to the gym this morning. Saw my ex-trainer / conscience walking down the street. Luckily she didn't see me. Whew!

The coffee cup I mentioned a few weeks ago finally sprung a leak while I was gone. Guess the coffee finally soaked through the paper of the cup. "Clean-up on aisle 3!"

Ah, ok people, can you do me a favour? When you quit your job can you just leave quietly instead of sending some fucking gay poem to everyone in the country? Nobody gives a shit! If you loved the company so much and it was SUCH an honour and privilege then you wouldn't have slammed everyone and bitched so much before you quit. Just go, go quietly, no one will remember you when you're gone because no one gave a shit while you were here.

Ok, I officially have contempt for all Tenant rep companies out there. They add no value and just try to fuck you over for a fee.

Boss is away for two days, sweet. Its the same feeling as when you're about to put your pants in the wash and find $20 in one of the pockets. Or, when you wake up suddenly and think you're late for work and then realize that its Saturday and can go back to sleep.

I am now over 200 lbs again. First time in 2 years. Must stop with the beer and bad food...tomorrow...

Motivation= a vomit into
I am really motivated to be here right now.

I wish my assistant would stop calling everyone "sweetie" and "hon" its starting to annoy me.

Time for coffee.

OMG

Buckcherry - Crazy Bitch...is it bad to like this song?

Home

Denali to the airport and just like that its Saturday again and Denali home from the airport. All is the same...well, except that I should have gotten someone to water my garden. Oops.

Need some me time...alone...

Great vacation :)

The power of the Gift!

There are those, when looking at the sunset or a forest, marvel not so much at the beauty of the thing but the genius of the creator. This is true for many things in life such as art or architecture. I just crossed the Confederation Bridge this week and thought how awesome it was that this could be built.

For me, I marvel at authors, writers, people with the gift to arrange letters into words and words into sentences that make anything come to life. I marvel at Dostoyevsky, not so much for his vivid imagination, many people have that, but for his ability to use just the right words at the right time to truly amaze the reader.

I have always loved writing, as long as I can remember. Whether its impatience or immaturity, I've never been able to truly excel at it. I guess I don't have the gift.

I have however, been fortunate in my life growing up in a Christian community that "Spiritual Gifts," as it is called is very important within the church body. I've taken many courses and read many books to determine my gifts. Teaching is my number one gift by the way, with preaching (public speaking) as my second.

There are many secular resources devoted to discerning people's gifts or talents. One of these is a book called "What Colour is your Parachute." Most professional development or job hunting books will have some form of this analyses in them.

All of this to say that Dostoyevsky could have been a good carpenter and Picasso a fair dentist, but if this was the case the world would have missed out immense beauty and genius.

We all need to find not just what we're passionate about but what we can actually do and do well.

Loving my vacation.

R.

"I'd buy that for a dollar!"

Some of you will remember this catchy phrase from the 80's movie "Robo Cop.". I was reminded of this phrase this week as we strolled through Wal-Mart in Moncton stocking up for our vacation. I was surprised years ago when the first disposable camera came out. Later they brought one out with a flash. I thought, "What will they think of next?". Well, apparently disposable everything. Stuff is so cheap now not just Wal-Mart but Dollarama and Canadian Tire that it might as well be disposable. We bought all the beach toys you could imagine, including beach balls and swim noodles for under 10 dollars. Beach chairs, cooler, towels, mats and beverages. It will be a real shame to toss all this stuff but in total it was less than $40. Maybe I'll find a Goodwill on Saturday and drop it off.

Other than that, we had 3 good beach days so far and 3 rainy cold days. We spent those sightseeing, Hopewell Rocks, Magnetic Hill, Green Gables House, Avonlea and of course the kids totally loved the pool and amusement park at the Crystal Palace in Moncton.

Yes I have eaten lobster everyday I've been here and while the rest of my family doesn't really like seafood my middle daughter M will eat all that stuff. She eats all my lobster and mussels and yyesterday had raw oysters for the first time, I had to order more...she's 9!
Cavendish beach in PEI is gorgeous. Parlee beach in New Brunswick is equally nice.
The kids have really been having the time of their lives. I can't say my dad ever took us on a trip like this, or any other trip that lasted more than a day for that matter.
I'm sure there are things I'm forgetting but if so I'll post later.

We're off to Charlottetown tomorrow to see the birthplace of Confederation of this awesome country of ours. Should be grand.

Ok, beer finished, need another.

L8R...

Reading

I've been thinking for some time now that I want to read some of the classics. You know, books that are literary masterpieces, critically acclaimed.

So to that end I picked up a copy of Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevsky. Fuck! You think I could have started with something more positive like ah, the Titanic? What a book. Now I know why they say that it is one of the greatest novels ever written. I didn't think it would be but its a real page turner!

Intense. I'm sure I'll have more to post on this one.

Bifteck et Homard

Burp! Most of my blood now has been replaced by clarified butter. My fingers are becoming "clawlike."

So far so good for the Maritimes. Spent the day at the beach yesterday. Today...Magnetic Hill! Killer...really works too.

Emo...

Ok so co-worker thinks I'm too emotional. That bitch! Just kidding! Really! When I made the post about the "f" word it wasn't to suggest that my friends are all against me. I have some wonderful friends, we get along great.

I was merely commenting on the fact that people use the friend word too easily without realizing what it really means.

Enough about that.

What a fantastic morning today. Sun was shining, sky was blue, tunes were cranked, sun-roof open and the roads were light. Looking forward to a nice week of holidays upcoming.

No-one's working anyway. My phone hasn't rung all morning.

Rage...

There are a couple of Blogs that I read regularly and was quite surprised as I looked at them today what I found.

One was saying good-bye to a co-worker, it went something like this:

I would say that I hoped I (sic) you thought I was attractive, but I don’t really care about your private thoughts and since no one else here liked you, I know you never had an opportunity to discuss me.

The other was a bit more stark,

I find you extraordinarily irritable. You talk too much, you're too loud, too boisterous, too much everything. You are too wrapped up in YOU. You should have never told me you cannot swim because I have daydreams about tripping you off a pier into deep deep water, where I would happily watch you drown...
...p.s. I hope you drown someday soon.

Man, people are really pissed. Maybe building 30 storey vertical glass coffins and stuffing them full of people who have nothing in common for extended periods of time was not a good idea. Or maybe its just me.

What about the old days if a man stole your sheep you would kill him or if he slept with your daughter you would make him marry her. That was real punishment. Frontier justice. Now, what do we have, repressed rage. Years and years of taking it till one day blamo, you snap and take everyone with you.

I so want front row tickets...

Fourth horseman of the apocalypse???

WTF with the weather. Super heat one day and now it won't stop raining. I swear to god if I see frogs falling from the sky I'm going to take up heroin.

Spamity spam...

So I'm in the car this morning checking my email and whoa...

He was a very polite boy. He tried and saw the brownish droplets of Betadine flying from the blade of the electric knife.
You know that, dont you? So far all speculation centered on three illegal substances: moonshine, marijuana, and cocaine. Then one of them will ask me, "This was last winter, Miss Wilkes, how could you be so positive? Old Shinny had been clearly puzzled as well, but in the end he had concurred with the diagnosis.
He put the knife on the night-table, hoisted himself into bed, then slid it under the mattress. He slammed the door shut.
Strip a writer to the buff, point to the scars, and hell tell you the story of each small one. "Geoffreys hands went to his shirt and rubbed the heavy muslin wrappings beneath it restlessly.

"Brownish droplets???" What the hell is Betadine? Ooh, used to prepare povidone-iodine. Whatever the hell that is.

Three illegal substances, moonshine marijuana and cocaine. This is so cool. Though I will say that Geoffrey's little under the shirt rub is probably a little to homo-erotic for me.

This is quite good. I just have to figure out whether this section is before or after the last section. Now I know how the guys that found the dead sea scrolls felt...well, sort of.

The "f" word...

I'm really quite tired hearing the "f" word. Everywhere you turn people want to be friends. Friends??? Do you have any idea what kind of commitment that takes?

Now friend means different things to different people. Women, if they don't want to have sex with you will use the "f" word. Let's be friends. Women generally will not have sex with men they consider friends.

Men, on the other hand, will call a woman a friend, ("she's my best friend." )to try to have sex with her. Really, which straight man has a woman as his best friend.

People use the "f" word all the time, mostly they mean aquintance or someone they can tolerate. Usually though, its out of sight out of mind. I called you last, its your turn now.

"Hey Rarotonga, how ARE you?"

"Uh, my family all died in a horrible car crash. I've lost the will to live."

"That's great, give me a call sometime. We'll do lunch."

Thanks friend its great that YOU are here.

I posted this a few weeks ago...

Sometimes people want to be friends but what they really want is for YOU to be THEIR friend.

Can we call a truce? Enough games? Be honest? Aaah, too radical. Human nature will ultimately prevail.

OMFG

Just realized I can post from my Blackberry. This can't be a good thing. The people who know me already know this is going to be bad.

Bad...

Its not that I think all people are assholes. Its just that if I was eating chocolate covered almonds and one of them tasted like a chocolate covered asshole, it would make me not want to eat any of them any more.

I'm trying to stay positive but there are a couple of guys that I'm dealing with who are giving it to me like i'm Tracy Lordes on her "best of" DVD... no lube!

Well, its only money and not my money so I need to let it go and be more professional. That's where beer comes in.

Ok, so I'm sitting at my desk staring at the half empty starbucks cup that's been sitting here for two weeks. There are cultures growing in this thing the likes of which humanity have not seen. I think I have a cure for lupus in here.

On the side of this cup is Starbucks "The Way I see It #53"

Be exceptional. Make tremendous efforts to be extraordinary. What a privilege to be here on the planet to contribute to your unique donation to humankind. Just make sure you do so...

Are you fucking kidding me? Just give me my damn coffee. Its already bad enough that I cant order a damn large coffee, I have to order grande or venti. I'm standing in the line trying to order an iced cafe...ah..iced mo...um...iced mocha cafe with no whipped cream and the dude (he's a frigging dude) is standing there looking at me with his smug stare being of no fucking help at all whatsoever. Then when I've finally blurted it out like I'm some immigrant with down syndrome or some thing he says,

"Grande iced no whip moca."

Oh I see, to be cool you have to put the thing that you don't want in the middle of the fucking thing that you do want. It can't be a grande iced moca with no whip, but the other.

That's right "be exceptional" an exceptional asshole that makes me feel stupid for ordering my fucking coffee wrong.

And another thing, this stupid cup has been here so long you think the cleaning people would at least read it. There's been a box sitting in my office for a week. They leave me a note, a handwritten note to ask me if its garbage. No its not fucking garbage I'm giving it to my wife for our anniversary!!!!!

Whew...that felt good.

Hope you guys are having a great day too :)

More spam...

Has anyone else been getting these spam emails? The spammers actually quote passages out of periodicals and novels so it looks like a normal email and makes it through the spam filter. Every once in awhile, quite innocently, without meaning to, I read one of these emails...you know to see if it makes sense. Well, I get this one today,

But Shinnys examination of Geoffreys broken ribs and sprained shoulder had seemed purely perfunctory, and he had spoken barely a word to Ian, in spite of the mans deep grief and frequent incoherent cries. Then an unexpected idea came, a new one which opened a whole new avenue of thought.

huh, wtf! What happened to Geoffrey? Who the hell is Ian and why are his cries so frequent and incoherent? What exactly is this new "avenue of thought?" My god, please don't leave me hanging like this.

"Hello? Yes I'll buy all the damn Viagra you have if you'll just tell me the rest of the story. Pleeeease, I can't stand it."

I so won't be able to sleep tonight.