Ok, so I'm going to the washroom, this is the second time this has happened to me, I think I've mentioned before that we have these weird IT freaks working in the office beside us. Ok, so I'm going to the can and there is this guy in front of me and he goes into the washroom and I follow him. There are 3 urinals in our washroom that are so uncomfortably close together I'm sure they don't meet code. Anyways, this guy walks into the washroom and which urinal do you think he chooses, you guessed it, the middle one. The fucking middle one! Every guy in the world knows there are rules to going to the washroom.
1. If you walk in and all the urinals are empty, you of course choose the one closest to the door. That way, if anyone else comes in, you're not trapped.
2. If you go to the washroom and there are more than 2 urinals with one user (usually closest to the door, you pick the furthest one away, because ultimately all heterosexual men are homophobic.
3. If you walk into a urinal and there are 5 urinals and numbers 1, 3 and 5 are taken, which one do you choose? None obviously, you leave and return later or use a stall!
So this guy walks in and not only does he use the middle one, he stands there like he's a fucking gay Spiderman. Legs spread wide and one hand on his hips. Now, I'm coming in behind him and the two stalls are taken and I gotta go, I've timed this perfectly. There is no turning back now. I've got to shrug my shoulders and be as "small" as possible, just in case there is some accidental brushing of the arms, which is unacceptable. I swear if I didn't have to go so bad I would have liked to beat this guy to a pulp.
Don't people know the rules??? We are not savages are we???
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